Anybody who even kind-of-sort-of knows me probably pretty much instantly picked up on the fact that I really, really love doing crafty things. Blame it on my great aunt (who taught me to knit), on my parents (who, as it turns out, were both creative in general), and maybe even on the fact that I basically only function using the right side of my brain. There is nothing practical about me, kids!

In recent years, I’ve been so excited to stumble across smart people whose like-minded love of craftiness has been anything but hampered by the fact that they may also love things like rock and roll, beer, tattoos and Anderson Cooper. (Ahem).

With that said, this blog is dedicated to some of my very favorite Martha-Stewart-meets-Cyndi-Lauper ladies.

Marlin’s creative director, Matt Rose, sent this link to Patrick, who in turn, sent it to me. My understanding was that Matt met this woman, Boo Davis, while in Seattle for work. Boo makes evil quilts that metal heads would love. Or that some chick living in the Midwest might think is the sweetest thing ever. Something tells me that if I were to put this quilt on my bed, my mom would be super ashamed of me. And that’s what I think is particularly awesome.

Check out Boo’s quilts.

I need this apron. For no other reason than to remind everybody around me that yes, I like telling folks that I am foxy, and I can certainly prove to you that I am quite crafty. May I knit you a throw? I’d much rather be cunningly deceitful, but whatev. This lovely apron was created by Karissa Cove (check out her lovely Etsy page), and can be purchased through Bust magazine’s store.

Buy it here.

Read more about Karissa here.

My sister-in-law Carrie may no longer be a librarian, but how sweet would it be if I gave her towels embroidered with this on it? Oh man, I love Sublime Stitching because they’ve made me realize I could totally embroider skulls onto towels and put them in the guest bathroom. My mom hates me.

The only thing better than this is being able to buy a Subversive Cross Stitch kit and making your friend Stacy a picture that says “Candy Ass” to hang on her wall.

Go here for Sublime Stitching. Or here for Subversive Cross Stitch.

That’s it for now. I’ll keep posting other things as they find them. Cause Lord knows I’m always on the lookout for ways to work skulls and monsters into what I’m doing.

As January 16 rolls closer and closer, my excitement for the movie My Bloody Valentine 3-D continues to grow. Sure, I like my share of horror movies, but honestly, the biggest reason that I’m excited about this movie is because my friend Zach might not only have his arm show up as the TV news camera man, but because he also officially has his very own IMDB page thanks to this movie, another horror movie, a zombie movie, and some random show for young Hasidic Jews. So I’m going to see it to support Zach.

But naturally, my desire to post what I like to pretend are witty messages to Zach on Facebook led me to randomly roam around IMDB to see what our mutual friend Sydney was up to these days. When we lived in New Bern, NC, the normal group of us had headed out to Captain Ratty’s one night, and we couldn’t help but notice the loud man who was wearing flip flops, spandex pants, a t-shirt, two pairs of glasses and a fanny pack.

Over the course of the next couple of years, we all got to know Sydney pretty well. He would introduce himself as Sydney Jackson Bartholomew Jr. He was a production designer in Hollywood, and he had worked on the Farrelly Brothers movies. The dog car from Dumb and Dumber? Yeah, he designed it. That Emmy he won for Pee Wee’s Playhouse? He was using it as a doorstop in his house. He was only in New Bern for a short amount of time, trying to win a lawsuit against the hospital after his mom died. And though his stories were absolutely crazy and seemingly unbelievable, if you met the guy, you’d literally be blown away by the things he was saying.

Sydney was by far one of the most talented people any of us had ever met. He was so creative that he was, well, crazy. He was eccentric to the point that he sometimes wouldn’t leave his room for months at a time. We saw him get thrown out of bars. I saw him “joking” about throwing somebody off of a roof. He got beat up with a lead pipe one time. He would purposely yell things about Zach, saying he’d “never work with a Jew” just to see how Zach would take it. On his way to Los Angeles once, my friend Chris called him, and he was eating dinner with the mayor of Memphis. He was weird. He was wonderful. And he helped me understand like  noone else could some of the things I had experienced with my father. He truly was an incredible guy.

Before he left New Bern to go work on The Heartbreak Kid, Sydney handed me a screenplay he had written and asked me to turn it into a novel for him. He said he figured novels could sell easier than screenplays, which I laughed about at the time. Who reads anymore? But he made me promise, and I did.

Sadly, Sydney died at the age of 52 in June of 2008, and somehow, none of us knew, yet none of us were really surprised, either. That’s why I’m thinking it’s time I fulfill my promise. Seriously, guys, make me do this for Sydney. Kick my butt, please. Just make sure I get it done. I’d appreciate it.

Congratulations, Dan Schultz. You successfully made me LOL when I checked my mailbox at work (and successfully made me feel SUPER special since I only get hate mail and anthrax letters at work) and found the best Christmas card on the planet waiting for my hot little hands to open it with glee. 

And open it with glee I did. Friends, I encourage you to add a little personality to your Christmas cards. I sent Mark Ryden cards one year and I received the best compliment ever when my friend Todd told me it was the most disturbing and Mel-like Christmas card ever. I heart Todd.

Dan’s card was from The Onion. 

On the outside, this wonderful image. And on the inside, it read, “Merry Second-To-Last Christmas.” A girl like me, who thinks we should be doing whatever it takes to take care of our world because global warming DOES EXIST, happens to find this card frickin’ hilarious. Kudos to you, Dan! You’re the winner! I’m now going to go beat in some Hummers (and possibly even the Escalade stretch limo I saw today) and recycle some shiz.

But I could not go without telling you about the second runner up, whose Christmas card was killer for three reasons: it was a pop up (every art director I’ve ever worked with would drool over it), it was a Hello Kitty Christmas card, and it was in Japanese.

This is from my friend Jeanny, whose pre-existing Hello Kitty obsession is definitely being enhanced by the fact that she can hang out in Mainland Japan (and watch Sumo wrestling whenever she wants!) since her hubby is stationed in Okinawa. I’m just assuming it says “Merry Christmas” and not FU, cleverly disguised behind a cute Japanese kitty.

Way to go, Dan and Jeanny! You two not only rock, but have encouraged me to actually send cards out again next year.

And one last mention: major props to Heidi, whose use of an apostrophe on the envelope was purposely meant to drive me crazy. That’s the Heidi I know and love! 

Happy belated holidays!