Ever since my friend Lucy has gone all green thumb with an amazing garden (and since partnering up with several people in SWMO to create our very own Slow Food chapter), I’ve been getting a little crazy in my own kitchen.

One of my favorite experiments lately involves Raw Milk. Lucy told me how to skim off the cream and whip it into butter, and then so smartly explained that the milk left at the bottom is buttermilk. Duh, right? So that will be used for the fried green tomatoes that will sadly finish off the last of the veggies left from summer.

I have to say, I’ve had a lot of fun baking bread, making butter, and simmering fresh vegetables into soup stocks and tomato sauce over the past few weeks. It’s kind of nice to be able to make so much from scratch and feel like I’m escaping the preservatives and hormones that are in most of our food. Thanks for all of the inspiration, Lucy!

I just can’t take it anymore.

A couple of weeks ago, I was watching The Daily Show and was thrilled to see that Michael J. Fox was promoting his new book, Always Looking Up: The Adventures of an Incurable Optimist. As someone who lost a grandparent to Parkinson’s Disease, his story is one that hits particularly close to the heart, so I’m always anxious to see him talking about his story and how he’s handling the disease.

He looked really, really good. Still, he is getting a little hard to understand, and you can definitely tell he’s struggling with uncontrollable body movements. But what really got me fired up was him talking about the whole debate over stem cell research and the infamous Rush Limbaugh “exaggerating the effects of the disease” commentary. (Oh, and Michael got extra props from me for dropping “Merry Pranksters” in his discussion. Kudos.)

Then today: Stephen Hawking is in the news because he’s sick. Honestly, he’s lucky to even be alive after having spent 40 years with ALS—one of the most heartbreaking diseases I have ever witnessed with my eyes.

So here I am. Continuing to find myself angry and incredibly frustrated over issues like the stem cell debate, which once again started when Obama overturned a Bush-era policy in March. Here’s what gets me: years ago, we started developing things like pesticides and food preservatives. We created asbestos and plastic. We started dumping trash in landfills and being thoughtless with our waste, which resulted in pollution, contaminating the water we drink and the air that we breathe.

So now we have decades of carelessness that we need to fix. Cancer is an epidemic, if not a pandemic. There are diseases like Parkinson’s, ALS, and Alzheimer’s, which we can’t figure out how to cure. And yet there are people who forget about how years of irresponsible growth in our world’s technologies have led to countless problems that must to be reversed. I absolutely understand that there are ethical questions about stem cell research; however, I also believe that we must take care of the people who are alive and dealing with such terrible circumstances on a day to day basis.

I applaud people like Michael J. Fox, who stays so optimistic with a disease that sees to end in sight. Stephen Hawking, who, fortunately for the rest of us, has a sharp mind despite the fact that he cannot move or speak. People like Nancy Reagan, who knows she’s on the unpopular side of the Republican Party when it comes to this debate, but is determined to take a stand. And, of course, my mom, who has battled sky-rocketing health insurance rates and physically exhausting treatments in order to kick breast cancer to the curb—all done with a perpetual smile on her face.

It won’t be easy, but stem cell research is a step in the right direction for those who are alive today and suffering. How many more people have to be given a hopeless diagnosis before we figure out it’s time to fix the problems we caused?

Anybody who even kind-of-sort-of knows me probably pretty much instantly picked up on the fact that I really, really love doing crafty things. Blame it on my great aunt (who taught me to knit), on my parents (who, as it turns out, were both creative in general), and maybe even on the fact that I basically only function using the right side of my brain. There is nothing practical about me, kids!

In recent years, I’ve been so excited to stumble across smart people whose like-minded love of craftiness has been anything but hampered by the fact that they may also love things like rock and roll, beer, tattoos and Anderson Cooper. (Ahem).

With that said, this blog is dedicated to some of my very favorite Martha-Stewart-meets-Cyndi-Lauper ladies.

Marlin’s creative director, Matt Rose, sent this link to Patrick, who in turn, sent it to me. My understanding was that Matt met this woman, Boo Davis, while in Seattle for work. Boo makes evil quilts that metal heads would love. Or that some chick living in the Midwest might think is the sweetest thing ever. Something tells me that if I were to put this quilt on my bed, my mom would be super ashamed of me. And that’s what I think is particularly awesome.

Check out Boo’s quilts.

I need this apron. For no other reason than to remind everybody around me that yes, I like telling folks that I am foxy, and I can certainly prove to you that I am quite crafty. May I knit you a throw? I’d much rather be cunningly deceitful, but whatev. This lovely apron was created by Karissa Cove (check out her lovely Etsy page), and can be purchased through Bust magazine’s store.

Buy it here.

Read more about Karissa here.

My sister-in-law Carrie may no longer be a librarian, but how sweet would it be if I gave her towels embroidered with this on it? Oh man, I love Sublime Stitching because they’ve made me realize I could totally embroider skulls onto towels and put them in the guest bathroom. My mom hates me.

The only thing better than this is being able to buy a Subversive Cross Stitch kit and making your friend Stacy a picture that says “Candy Ass” to hang on her wall.

Go here for Sublime Stitching. Or here for Subversive Cross Stitch.

That’s it for now. I’ll keep posting other things as they find them. Cause Lord knows I’m always on the lookout for ways to work skulls and monsters into what I’m doing.

As January 16 rolls closer and closer, my excitement for the movie My Bloody Valentine 3-D continues to grow. Sure, I like my share of horror movies, but honestly, the biggest reason that I’m excited about this movie is because my friend Zach might not only have his arm show up as the TV news camera man, but because he also officially has his very own IMDB page thanks to this movie, another horror movie, a zombie movie, and some random show for young Hasidic Jews. So I’m going to see it to support Zach.

But naturally, my desire to post what I like to pretend are witty messages to Zach on Facebook led me to randomly roam around IMDB to see what our mutual friend Sydney was up to these days. When we lived in New Bern, NC, the normal group of us had headed out to Captain Ratty’s one night, and we couldn’t help but notice the loud man who was wearing flip flops, spandex pants, a t-shirt, two pairs of glasses and a fanny pack.

Over the course of the next couple of years, we all got to know Sydney pretty well. He would introduce himself as Sydney Jackson Bartholomew Jr. He was a production designer in Hollywood, and he had worked on the Farrelly Brothers movies. The dog car from Dumb and Dumber? Yeah, he designed it. That Emmy he won for Pee Wee’s Playhouse? He was using it as a doorstop in his house. He was only in New Bern for a short amount of time, trying to win a lawsuit against the hospital after his mom died. And though his stories were absolutely crazy and seemingly unbelievable, if you met the guy, you’d literally be blown away by the things he was saying.

Sydney was by far one of the most talented people any of us had ever met. He was so creative that he was, well, crazy. He was eccentric to the point that he sometimes wouldn’t leave his room for months at a time. We saw him get thrown out of bars. I saw him “joking” about throwing somebody off of a roof. He got beat up with a lead pipe one time. He would purposely yell things about Zach, saying he’d “never work with a Jew” just to see how Zach would take it. On his way to Los Angeles once, my friend Chris called him, and he was eating dinner with the mayor of Memphis. He was weird. He was wonderful. And he helped me understand like  noone else could some of the things I had experienced with my father. He truly was an incredible guy.

Before he left New Bern to go work on The Heartbreak Kid, Sydney handed me a screenplay he had written and asked me to turn it into a novel for him. He said he figured novels could sell easier than screenplays, which I laughed about at the time. Who reads anymore? But he made me promise, and I did.

Sadly, Sydney died at the age of 52 in June of 2008, and somehow, none of us knew, yet none of us were really surprised, either. That’s why I’m thinking it’s time I fulfill my promise. Seriously, guys, make me do this for Sydney. Kick my butt, please. Just make sure I get it done. I’d appreciate it.

Congratulations, Dan Schultz. You successfully made me LOL when I checked my mailbox at work (and successfully made me feel SUPER special since I only get hate mail and anthrax letters at work) and found the best Christmas card on the planet waiting for my hot little hands to open it with glee. 

And open it with glee I did. Friends, I encourage you to add a little personality to your Christmas cards. I sent Mark Ryden cards one year and I received the best compliment ever when my friend Todd told me it was the most disturbing and Mel-like Christmas card ever. I heart Todd.

Dan’s card was from The Onion. 

On the outside, this wonderful image. And on the inside, it read, “Merry Second-To-Last Christmas.” A girl like me, who thinks we should be doing whatever it takes to take care of our world because global warming DOES EXIST, happens to find this card frickin’ hilarious. Kudos to you, Dan! You’re the winner! I’m now going to go beat in some Hummers (and possibly even the Escalade stretch limo I saw today) and recycle some shiz.

But I could not go without telling you about the second runner up, whose Christmas card was killer for three reasons: it was a pop up (every art director I’ve ever worked with would drool over it), it was a Hello Kitty Christmas card, and it was in Japanese.

This is from my friend Jeanny, whose pre-existing Hello Kitty obsession is definitely being enhanced by the fact that she can hang out in Mainland Japan (and watch Sumo wrestling whenever she wants!) since her hubby is stationed in Okinawa. I’m just assuming it says “Merry Christmas” and not FU, cleverly disguised behind a cute Japanese kitty.

Way to go, Dan and Jeanny! You two not only rock, but have encouraged me to actually send cards out again next year.

And one last mention: major props to Heidi, whose use of an apostrophe on the envelope was purposely meant to drive me crazy. That’s the Heidi I know and love! 

Happy belated holidays!

In order to kick off the New Year in true Melody fashion, I’ve compiled a to-do list for myself today. My day will consist of the following:

• Wake up late. 

Check! I did that around 9:30 this morning, and that is only because I was having some crazy dreams that forced me to wake up. I easily could have slept another hour. Oooh, how I love to sleep.

• Go to the gym. 

I’m headed there next. That’s because my New Year’s resolution is to get Sabina Sciubba legs. I think a little Jique at the gym might help me pretend, since I’d actually have to grow about 10 inches to successfully obtain Sabina-like legs. But I can always wish.

• Clean my house.

This will be achieved, I have decided, by blasting Michael Jackson (thanks, Chris Heil, for providing me with History Vol. 1), and whatever else might want to rotate onto my iPod.

• Go grocery shopping.

Because nothing says, “It’s time to go shopping!” like eating handfuls of chocolate chips and stale bread for dinner.

• Ring in the New Year at Lucy’s house.

I just have to add, I really wish it were a costume party, because for some reason, I’m craving an ’80s dance party, complete with a side pony tail and leg warmers. Plus I’m always looking for a reason to wear my Wonder Woman costume. Mostly because I wish I was Wonder Woman. Sigh.

Other New Year’s Resolutions:

• Avoid Wal-mart like the plague. After I saw a woman in line eating chicken wings, I’ve decided it’s just not worth going there. 
• Get my braces removed. That one is happening, guys! Woo hoo!

That’s it for now. Wish me luck, I’ve got some huge resolutions to take care of this year! And best of luck to you, too. Have a safe and happy new year!